Humour

Things you will only know if you’re a blogger

  • The importance of a perfect flat lay. And how it feels to nearly fall off a chair when you’re standing on it, trying to photograph the perfect flat lay. EFFORTLESSLY CHIC.bhb flay lay
  • Instagram filters?! HAHAHAHAHA VSCO Cam mate.
  • Why fresh flowers (probably peonies), candles, copper homeware, rose gold jewellery and mini cacti are all essential items.

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  • How to politely decline the most bizarre PR requests. Would I like to review a book about erections? UM NAH I’M K THANKS. (True story. In hindsight I kind of wish I had.)bonergate
  • How to be cool and not LOSE YOUR SHIT when you get a really incredible event invite or chance to work with a BRILLIANT brand. I AM COOL I PROMISE.
  • How to work a free bar at an event. Me and my blogging buddies are actually really really skilled in this if anyone needs any tips.

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  • STATIONARY IS OUR PORN. If one day we could go into Paperchase and not spend ONE BAZILLION POUNDS that would be awesome.

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  • The pain of having to wait to eat until everyone has photographed the shit out of every angle of the food possible. K WE GOOD? EVERYONE GOOD? CAN WE EAT THE CHICKEN WINGS NOW? OH FUCK SORRY I THOUGHT EVERYONE WAS DONE, I’LL JUST REPOSITION THE WING WHERE I FOUND IT.

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  • Knowing that people who catch you standing on chairs to photograph matcha ice-cream or walking down the street talking into a camera think you’re nuts and just not caring. DIS WHAT WE DO.
  • The scream inducing frustration when WordPress isn’t being a babe and crashes just as you finish a post. And loses it. THERE IS NOT A CORNER OF HELL YOU COULD HIDE WHERE I WOULD NOT FIND YOU.
  • How do do the perfect insta of your pastle nail varnished hand holding up cocktails/Starbucks cups/ice creams with a beautifully blurred background. It’s instagram law.

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  • Why it’s important to have a roll of marble effect sticky back plastic to hand.
  • What it’s like to have really close ‘internet’ friends and why it’s normal to feel close to someone despite having never met them. TWITTER AIN’T JUST FOR TROLLS.
  • How to use the word ‘haul’. Usually preceded by the word ‘Lush’ or ‘Primark’.
  • ‘I was a guest of ….. In return for an honest review but if I hadn’t have loved it I wouldn’t have written about it.’ ESSENTIAL.
  • Mac lipsticks. Urban decay eyeshadow palettes. Essie nail varnish. Make up brushes in an old Diptyque candle glass. We’re basic bitches really.

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  • Macarons. Just, macarons.

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  • And burgers. Usually followed by  the phrase: ‘Because burgers.’

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  • How awesome, welcoming, supportive and BABIN’ the blogger community is. Snogs you dreamboats.

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8 Comments

  1. Charlie

    October 6, 2015 at 2:35 pm

    I was a guest of this blog post in return for an honest review but if I hadn’t loved it I wouldn’t have commented on it.

    1. Charlie

      October 6, 2015 at 2:36 pm

      Oh and also I LOVE YOUUUUUUUUU xx

  2. Frankie The Mayfairy

    October 6, 2015 at 9:15 pm

    I MADE IT INTO THIS POST OMG I’M A PROPER BLOGGER NOW x

  3. Georgina

    October 8, 2015 at 8:56 am

    I can right off flowers and marble wallpaper samples as expenses, right? Totes essential.

  4. Francesca

    October 9, 2015 at 1:27 pm

    Haha because all bloggers are the same really!

    http://francescaandrews.com

  5. disasters of a thirtysomething

    October 13, 2016 at 10:48 am

    HAHA! Amen! Basic bitches unite (You go Glen Coco!)

    1. bloodyhellbrennan

      October 24, 2016 at 12:07 pm

      HAHA! If you’re not #basic, are you even a blogger tho?!

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